Broken
by LOSHLOVERXOXO
Summary: Tonks is thinking after the battle and arguement with remus *before they get together* reviews are nice! song is broken by seether and please read!


Broken

_Dumbledore is dead. It seemed so hard to believe. He was always there, teaching you, giving you knowledge you would never understand until after he left. He was the true leader, his mere presence sent out a true vibe of compassion and complexity. _

_Dumbledore was a complex man, many thinks he's crazy, and at some point you would believe them. His age gave out wisdom and old magic that he has over the Death Eaters and even Voldemort himself. His death caused much tragedy. _

_Snape, a traitor. However, it kills me to say, that he was important. It doesn't matter how much I hated him he was important. Hogwarts was ruined. Dumbledore was the sole protector of the school and its pupils and he's gone. Bill's face is torn apart by Greyback. That bitch. He's the cause of so many problems, well my problems. Greyback is so sick and twisted, biting innocent children, making him or her believe they are cursed and they have no authority or right to find happiness. _

_Well, at least the one who I know and actually care about believes that way. _

_Remus. One of the sweetest most considerate man tortured and ridiculed by his own thoughts. Too old, poor and dangerous. What the hell. That fucking battle not even a couple of hours ago was a thousand times more dangerous, than Remus during the full moon. He just doesn't understand. He will never understand. _

_Maybe…maybe I should just give up. _

Nymphadora Tonks stopped writing. She looked down at what she previously just wrote and threw the journal across the small room, Professor Sprout provided for her. Angry tears pooled out of her eyes and she pulled her legs up to her chest. She made no sound; she just sat there staring at that little black book, which held out all her emotions.

Tonks started writing months ago, after she had read in Witch Weekly magazine writing out your thoughts and feelings helped contain yourself. She admits to feeling better after writing, but the entries haven't stopped the nightmares and tears.

Hating the eerie silence Tonks, picked her wand up and flicked on the radio.

"_Well here you are young witches and wizards out there, the muggle song that's hitting the nation, Broken!" _

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain _

Tonks sighed. Oh how she wished Remus would say these things to her.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open _

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

Tonks gave out another long released sigh. It seems everything she has been doing or listening to was revolved around Remus. Life is just too cruel.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away _

_You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore _

Her recent argument came back to her in waves. How childish I was. My thoughts, so selfish, thinking he would never deny me again in front of everyone. My plan failed and it only brought me embarrassment.

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again_

_I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away _

_There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain _

Lies. Everything is just getting worse. Dumbledore dead. Hogwarts ruined. Snape gone to tell previous Order plans. Remus. Remus never wanting to talk to her again. The only thing she's brought him was annoyance and embarrassment. He's never really loved me.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough _

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome _

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away _

Tonks was sick of it. Sick of everything. So, nauseated that a single song could describe her feelings, and how the same song could bring pain and lies along with it. She angrily stood up, ripped the cord out of the plug. She stalked into the loo and furiously rubbed her face with cool water. She looked up into the mirror.

She was tired of her hair being mousy brown, she was tired of her eyes being bloodshot, and her cheeks being tear streaked. She hated being normal. She hated looking normal. She hated how when she did morph she was showing a false image of herself. The pink hair or neon green hair was a lie. That wasn't her true form that was just something to make her feel different. Her appearance now is what she looks like not morphed and it kills her. Being normal is sickening and makes her weak. Her morphing ability gave her everything. What she wanted to look like every day her job, and it's been ripped away by one man. One person, who she gave everything to, her heart and soul, and it was thrown away like a piece of rubbish. Her whole life was a lie.

Tonks was shaking horribly and she just snapped. She took her hands and pounded them both into the glass, smashing it to pieces. The glass crashed around her, and her hands was flowing blood.

Tonks erratically looked around her for something to stop the blood and found nothing.

'_Great you stupid bitch, now you have to go back into the hospital wing and explain how you smashed your hands into a mirror!' _

Tonks grabbed her cloak to not scare anyone else in the Hospital Wing of the blood soaking her white t-shirt. She stuffed her hand into the pockets of her cloak and stormed out of her room. She was still pissed off and she would refuse magic to heal her. She needs to learn from her mistakes and if it includes long scars on her hands from being heartbroken than she'll take it. Athe only pain she felt was of her hearts.

She looked down at her robes had splotches of blood on it from where she threw it on carelessly. She rolled her eyes and continued her way down the long corridors of the hall. She reached the entrance to the Hospital Wing and took a long breath to calm herself.

"I can't do it. I mustn't she just isn't thinking clearly from the war and all."

"Remus, you being away from her is killing her! She can't morph, her patronus has changed, she's not sleeping, just give in Remus! Your excuses are ridiculous. I can't watch her suffer anymore."

"I can't for her sake. My excuses are trying to protect her."

The tears came again, and the pain in her heart began to pulsate and spread throughout her body. She took her hands out of her pockets and stared at them. They were shaking and she couldn't stop it. She wasn't in control anymore. Her hands were throbbing with pain and she walked out to meet the same group she had recently announced to before. She looked from her hands to the audience.

"Help."

She couldn't help but think of that god awful song that made her come to this point. Blackness engulfed her.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open _

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough _

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome _

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome _

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away _

_You've gone away _

_You don't feel me here anymore_

_HEY GUYS! I HAVEN'T WROTE A STORY IN FOREVER! SO I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS! IF YOU WANT ME TO I WILL MAKE A SEQUEL OF REMUS' POV AND HOW THEY FINALLY GET TOGETHER! REVEIWS ARE NICE __Song was broken by seether _


End file.
